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Sunday, February 1, 2009

YoU GeT thE PiCtuRe....

This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment.This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definitionTV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy byspending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer it will go to India.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras,and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
If you buy a car it will go to Japan.
If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan.
And none of it will help the American economy.
We need to keep that money here in America.
You can keep the money inAmerica by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, orspend it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those arethe only businesses still in the US.

5 comments:

  1. I'm gonna drink me some domestic beer...then I'm heading over to get me a tattoo on my ***, and finally I am heading to a yard sale so that I can get me some daisy dukes to show it off!
    Go USA!

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  2. Janene you are a hoot..I am with you minus the beer..I choose rootbeer...;)

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  3. Yep, that's how that "Economic Stimulus Package" works.
    Nothin' like throwin' gasoline on the fire.
    ~Peanut
    P.S.
    I do plan on gettin' me another tattoo though. :> )

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  4. It's no different here in the UK. I keep on urging everyone on Ebay to buy British and help the economy. Maybe I shall get myself another tattoo, but there again the ink might well have been made in Taiwan or somewhere!

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  5. I'd spend it on stocking my pantry......but you have to watch the labels to find out where the food comes from and where it was canned.

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