Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy. Eskimo proverb

Our HoMe

Pennys, Towels, & Rolling pin Covers..I do custom work..made to order :>)

I don't have an attitude,
I have a personality you can't handle.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

ChriStmAs DiNnEr..ThiS iS ToO FuNny..;)

Chistmas Dinner..........GONE WILD
> !!!!!!
> This is an article
> submitted to a 1999 Louisville Sentinel contest to find out
> who had the wildest Christmas dinners. It won first prize.
> As a joke, my brother Jay used to hang a pair of panty hose
> over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted
> was for Santa to fill them.
> What they say about Santa checking the list twice must
> be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's
> kids' stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung
> sadly empty.
> One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put
> on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love
> doll. They don't sell those things at Wal-Mart. I had to
> go to an adult bookstore downtown.
> If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't
> go, you'll only confuse yourself. I was there an
> hour saying things like, 'What does this do?'
> 'You're kidding me!' 'Who would buy
> that?' Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll
> section.
> I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could
> also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use
> the car pool lane during rush hour.
> Finding what I wanted was difficult. 'Love Dolls'
> come in many different models. The top of the line,
> according to the side of the box, could do things
> I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I settled
> for 'Lovable Louise.' She was at the bottom of the
> price scale.
> To call Louise a 'doll' took a huge leap of
> imagination.
> On Christmas Eve and with the help of an old bicycle pump,
> Louise came to life.
> My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during
> the wee morning hours. Long after Santa had come and gone, I
> filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs
> and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained
> of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. I went home, and
> giggled for a couple of hours.
> The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had
> been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY
> happy, but had left the dog confused. She would bark,
> start to walk away, then come back and bark some more.
> We all agreed that Louise should remain in her pantyhose so
> the rest of the family could admire her when they came over
> for the traditional Christmas dinner.
> My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the
> door. 'What the hell is that?' she asked.
> My brother quickly explained, 'It's a doll.'
> 'Who would play with something like that?' Granny
> snapped.
> I kept my mouth shut.
> 'Where are her clothes?' Granny continued.
> 'Boy, that turkey sure smells nice, Gran,' Jay
> said, to steer her into the dining room.
> But Granny was relentless. 'Why doesn't she have
> any teeth?'
> Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was
> Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the
> ambulance saying, 'Hang on Granny, hang on!'
> My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight,
> sidled up to me and said, 'Hey, who's the naked gal
> by the fireplace?' I told him she was Jay's friend.
> A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel,
> talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting.
> It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa's
> last Christmas at home.
> The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about
> who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when
> suddenly Louise made a noise like my father in the bathroom
> in the morning. Then she lurched from the mantel, flew
> around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the
> sofa. The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my
> nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees,
> and began administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
> My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants.
> Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and
> sat in the car.
> It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and
> remember.
> Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough
> examination to decide the cause of Louise's collapse. We
> discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the
> back of her right thigh.
> Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we
> restored her to perfect health..
> I can't wait until next
> Christmas.


  1. Gina
    OMGosh I am laughing my butt off ! Visualizing that just makes me bust out laughing. Hope your Christmas is filled with warmth and laughter and lots of moments that will make wonderful memories.
    Merry Christmas

  2. Lol that's hilarious!!! Thanks for sharing that crazy Christmas story with us!
    Merry Christmas to you & your family!

  3. LOL, that's so funny! Thanks
    for the laughter, this Christmas
    morning! Hope Santa brought you
    every thing you wanted!
    Beary Christmas!

    Bear Hugs~Karen

  4. LOL, That is HILARIOUS!!!!!!! Glad to hear you were able to bring her back to life with good ole' duct tape, there's not much you can't do with it!!!!

  5. what a story...I loved it...Have a Merry Christmas

  6. Hilarious! Thanks for a good hearty Christmas laugh! Merry Christmas Gina!

  7. OMG, Gina! This is so funny! I about died laughing! Thanks so much for the great laugh! Hope you have had a wonderful day!


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  9. LMBO - too funny!!!
    Hope you had a wonderful Christmas!!